Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Stinky Thinking

I am a big fan of taking your thoughts captive. I think sometimes our thoughts are worse than the reality of our lives. The power of perception can dictate how we respond in life to our own definition of what our life should look like.
Last night, with some help from my emotional "Sherpa", I came to the realization that I allow everyone else to plan my spare time and I go with the strongest force. What a shame.
When I was younger I used to keep a really tight schedule of accomplishment to avoid having too much spare time. I guess I was brighter at 16 than I am now.
So, I have vowed to change the bad habit of believing my opinion of my recreation should be completely discounted and that I am not worth planning a bit more of my life.
Am I the only one? Have you ever felt like the empty spaces on your calendar are filled by the strongest forces in your life?

1 comment:

Sean said...

Mrs. Epperson,

You hit a sensitive topic with me just now, with your post. I'm thankful you wrote it. I sometimes get the notion that I am the only one struggling with how my thoughts can dictate the life I live.

On one hand, because creation, and everything in it is God's, and because Christ came to give us life, that the natural result should be happiness on our part. 24/7.

On the other hand, I more often chose to be guided by my imagination and the natural conclusions I make about myself and the world I live in.

What keeps me from the freedom I so desperately want is my misguided notion that the inner-most part of my mind has my best interest at heart.

I assume so many things about myself and about reality. Not simply because I chose to believe them. But because I am conditioned to think they're right and that those thoughts point me in the right direction. Keep me safe. Away from danger.

But the irony is, the more I let my thoughts guide my life, the more unhappy I am. At times, the imagination within my mind is a raging tidal wave, a wild stallion.

When I live a moment just south or even far below happiness, I am convinced I do so, many times as a result of my own laziness...letting a simple, small assumption about what is and what is supposed to be (that does not run in line with what I know to be true) creep into my mind and stay.

What is profound, Mrs. Epperson, is that many people do not get to the point in their lives to come this conclusion about themselves.

Living with a desire for something better than what you've told yourself you could live is one thing. Choosing to fight, on a moment by moment basis, with all the passion of one defending his or her family from an intruder, against the wild and unruly assumptions of the mind, is really something else altogether.

It is my goal to live life with this kind of unbridled passion for the truth. It is my hope to one day have mastered the ways of rejecting the beautiful, but deceptive, advances of the misguided notions of the mind.

Until I get there...to that place (and even once I arrive,) I will be eternally grateful that I can be reminded of that fact that I am much more than the product of my imagination. I am much more.

And be thankful for friends who can remind me of that there are other ways of living. Better possibilities.

Thank you for writing this.