An Invitation to Hope

My heart was racing, my mind creating every kind of bad scenario for me and my friend, Rachel. The house we were in was incredibly dirty and the smell of sweat and alcohol filled the heavy air. In the back bedroom I found an old, tattered mattress on the floor. At seven, I was the leader, pulling my friend under the mattress with me and grabbing her hand.

I prayed for us. She prayed for us. We squeezed each other tight and prayed we would not be found by any of the men doing drugs that night in what later became known as the “crack house.”

Hopeless? No.

“So the helpless has hope, And unrighteousness must shut its mouth.” Job 5:16

I have no memory or conclusion to what happened to Rachel and I that night, but I do have many memories of what would follow --peace and a hand much bigger than the adults around me floundering about trying to make their own way.

He did not have a name to me, but His invitation included mine. His hand was that of a hearty, working man yet soft and warm. As I curled up with Him in my heart, I knew I was safe. Guarded from what was happening around me, guarded from the uncertainty and confusion that my world had always been to me.

Teachers Caught in the Middle

Something that was brought to my attention the other day was another one of the many struggles teachers are having with students from two homes.
Situation:
John brings spirit t-shirt money to his fifth grade teacher on Monday from his Mom's house in hopes of her receiving the t-shirt for him to wear on Fridays, which is spirit day most weeks.
The teacher passes out the prepaid t-shirts out on a Wednesday which means that the t-shirt Mom just paid for went home with John to Dad's house because it is a Wednesday and Dad has him.
Friday rolls around and Mom is incredibly angry because she doesn't have John's t-shirt that she paid for and John is angry because he will be the only one in his class that isn't wearing his spirit t-shirt.
Now, Mom shoots the teacher a hateful email expressing that she didn't receive what she had paid for and that it is her fault. Dad also shoots the teacher a hateful email because he feels like he was never asked about ordering a spirit t-shirt.

Who should be at fault for this?

Parents say the teacher.
Communities say the parents.
Schools stay neutral and try to accommodate on top of the huge laundry list of mandates handed down to them.

I say...regardless of blame...you still have to recognize and address the fact that this child has just missed out on having his t-shirt and enjoying spirit day like the rest of his class.

Narrow Shoulders

I have recently learned that I have narrow shoulders with the weight of the effects of divorce on all the children I have met over the last year and half.
"My daddy said that he didn't want to pay for us anymore, so he threw my mom down some stairs and the cops took him away...we don't see him...I think it was my sister's fault because she wouldn't go to sleep when she was suppose to." Tulsa, 1st Grader
"When my momma gets three thousand dollars she is gonna ask for me back because my Grandma said she needs money." Tulsa, 1st Grader
"I've been in three foster homes..." Tulsa, 1st Grader
The quotes could go on and on....the tears could roll on for these children that are part of our world.
My shoulders are becoming increasingly more narrow and as I share this reality I am finding more shoulders standing alongside me keeping them strong.
Blended Love Board Members are standing side by side, shoulder to shoulder, saying..."we will be your voice."
Thank you.

The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the best intentions!

Visit to Skelly Elementary

Yesterday, Sandra and I had the privilege of handing out over 230 books to kids at Skelly Elementary School at 31st and Memorial. We taught four sessions of "Empowered Journaling" with the students and NY Life donated 240 journals/pencils.

I heard children saying that they had never received a book of their own and had no books at home. I saw first graders holding their book like it was a teddy bear.

We were also able to donate the other resources to the library, putting in our first Library Resources for the Child of Divorce.

The time spent at the school was amazing. Our reception from the staff and principal made us want to adopt them.

I cannot tell you how blessed I feel knowing our organization is providing resources to children who need them and want them.

Powerful Words

lack of trust

neglected

forgotten

deserted

guilt

different

confused

complicated

divided

torn

Did You Know?

..."children from divorce suffer from more depression, anxiety, low self-esteem. They experience higher rates of suicide, feelings of rejection, drug and alcohol abuse, delinquency and criminality and diminished learning capacity leading to more school failure. They have poor interpersonal relationships, are increasingly the victims of abuse and neglect, and are two times as likely to divorce than children from intact families."

Source: The Heritage Foundation / The Effects of Divorce on America

LOVE

Love is such a powerful word yet it has so many meanings.
Some of us use it to get someone we care about off the phone.
Others are fearful of it, so they go out of their way not to use the word.
Yet we are all drawn to a desire to hear it and see it in our lives.
We see it when someone is patient with us as we grow and learn in life.
We feel it when someone forgives something we said without thinking or acted harshly.
We know it by the mourners who sit by our side through a loss.
We observe it when we see a mom tenderly nurturing her child in a public place.
We realize it when it is aimed at us with an unconditional pact of friendship.
Love is all around.
Love does not discriminate, it can be received by anyone willing to give it away.